My Unsung Soul by Derrick DerRon Holloway

Author:Derrick DerRon Holloway [Holloway, Derrick DerRon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781532026294
Publisher: iUniverse
Published: 2017-10-27T04:00:00+00:00

FADED PICTURES

Alzheimer’s and Dementia

Passed the place of gracefully, these days hastily seem to be far less amazing. These memories seem to be fading and I feel a fog rolling in. These eyes aren’t what they used to be. They seem not to recognize the things they used to see and familiar faces often feel new to me. I gaze into the distance hoping to see it clearly, but the visions I envision aren’t nearly as vivid as I imagine. Thought it’s good to see old friends again, it’s more often than not that they’re not there. I’ve gotten used to being corrected. It’s so easy to be disrespected when you see things that just aren’t there. I don’t know why I like to go by the window and stare at sidewalks… or why most of the times spinning in my mind are me and numbers having quiet talks and it only makes sense to me. “Six one seventeen, six one eighteen, six one nineteen, six one twenty!” Why doesn’t this make sense to anyone else but me…? They each have a place; I’m just trying to figure out where that place should be. “Six one seventeen, six one eighteen, six one nineteen, six one twenty! Six one fifteen, six one seventeen, six one eighteen, six one twenty!”

Repetition is the key. Somebody keeps moving my hands but that somebody isn’t me, because I seem to have misplaced some things. I’ve been driving all of my life, but someone has taken my keys and they keep opening car doors to back seats… and I’m not sure anymore where we’re going. But I’m becoming more comforted with not knowing what day this is or what name is his… If this is a game, I couldn’t explain the rules to what game this is. All I know is that she leads me to the places I need be. She sees me… she feeds me… she makes following her easy and she’s there every time I call her name. If getting old is a game, I must be winning; because this is the eightieth inning and I’m on deck for greater places.

Amazing Grace is dear to me. It’s clear to see that I’m kept in family prayers and safe in the arms of a Savior who cares. So, my cares can waste away from day to day, and though my pictures fade, in my mind I can still see the parade of all the faces I’ve ever known, all the places I’ve ever gone and all the harvests of all the seeds I’ve ever sown… It makes this a bit easier, though burdensome I still feel at times… but I never see it when I look into their eyes. They only show me love, respect and dignity.

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